| Action |
Do as
you would be done by. |
| |
|
| Absent
Minded Person |
One who
stands in front of the mirror for hours trying to remember where he had
seen the person before. |
| |
|
| Ambition |
The only
job you start at the top is when you dig a hole. |
| |
|
| Atom
Bomb |
An invention
to end all inventions. |
| |
|
| Boss |
Someone
who is early when you are late and late when you are early. |
| |
|
Cartoon
|
A device used by newspapers
to suggest what the editor dare not say. |
| |
|
| Cigarette |
A pinch
of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. |
| |
|
| Classic |
A book
which people praise, but do not read. |
| |
|
| College |
A place
where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing. |
| |
|
| Committee |
Individuals
who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done
together. |
| |
|
| Compromise |
The art
of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest
piece. |
| |
|
| Conference |
The confusion
of one man multiplied by the number present. |
| |
|
| Conference
Room |
A place
where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. |
| |
|
| Credibility |
If we
don’t stand for something, we may fall for anything. |
| |
|
| Criminal |
A guy
no different from the rest... except that he got caught. |
| |
|
| Dictionary |
The only
place where divorce comes before marriage. |
| |
|
| Diplomat |
A person
who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip. |
| |
|
| Doctor |
A person
who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. |
| |
|
Economists
|
One who tells you what to do
with your money after you have already done something else with it. |
| |
|
| Ecstasy |
A feeling
when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. |
| |
|
| Effort |
About
the only thing that comes to us, without effort is old age. |
| |
|
| Etc. |
A sign
to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. |
| |
|
| Experience |
The name
men give to their mistakes. |
| |
|
| Executive |
The ability to "yawn" without
opening his mouth. |
| |
|
| Executive Ability |
The faculty of earning your
bread through other people's work. |
| |
|
| Father |
A banker
provided by nature. |
| |
|
| Lecture
|
An art
of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes
of the students, without passing through "the minds of either". |
| |
|
| Love
Affairs |
Something
like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular
than a five day test. |
| |
|
| Marriage |
It's
an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her
master's. |
| |
|
| Miser |
A person
who lives poor so that he can die rich. |
| |
|
| Office |
A place
where you can relax after your strenuous home life. |
| |
|
| Optimist |
A person
who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. |
| |
|
| Opportunists |
One who
starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river. |
| |
|
| Pessimist |
A person
who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter
in word |
| |
|
| Philosopher |
A fool
who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. |
| |
|
| Politician |
One who
shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. |
| |
|
| Procrastination |
One of
these days is none of these days. |
| |
|
| Procrastination |
To overcome
procrastination commit yourself to deadlines. Break big jobs into small
units & get started. |
| |
|
| Procrastinator |
A person
who much awaits the problem. |
| |
|
| Procrastinator |
Increased
profits come from training better staff & having fewer of them. |
| |
|
| Retirement |
More
brains rust out than wear out. |
| |
|
| Rumour |
News
that travels faster than the speed of sound, fortunately not light. |
| |
|
| Rumour |
Remember
your tongue is a wet place, anything can slip. |
| |
|
| Smile |
A curve
that can set a lot of things straight. |
| |
|
| S/W Engineer |
Who is
paid for reading this mail. |
| |
|
| Worry |
Interest
paid on trouble before it falls due. |
| |
|
| Tears |
The hydraulic
force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power. |
| |
|
| Yawn |
The only
time some married men ever get to open their mouth. |